


Grammy's After Party

by northstarrrr



Category: Blink-182, tomark - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-03 03:56:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10235348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northstarrrr/pseuds/northstarrrr
Summary: Travis throws a after party for the 2017 Grammys and Tom turns up.





	1. Chapter 1

Both going to the same after party. How could this happen. Mark was very careful to study what limited social gatherings Tom would attend to make sure to avoid him. In the friendship divorce Tom really didn’t want anything, a random party here and there which their mutual friends would send a warning text to Mark about. It made him almost too easy to avoid. 

When Mark walked into the Barker house for a Grammys after party and saw that lanky mother fucker talking to Travis it took all his strength not to turn his ass around and walk straight out. Mark could feel people in the party looking at him, eagerly waiting for him to lose his shit. Mark spotted his friend Pete and walked over to him muttering under his breath “You couldn’t of texted me?”. Pete walked a way from the group of models towering over him to provide some sort of privacy in the crowded party. “Look he turned up just before you maybe 5 minutes ago, I didn’t know he was coming. Why didn’t homeboy warn ya” he said looking at Travis who was laughing with Tom. “Fucking brilliant, I’m going to the bar” Mark whispered hyper aware he was being watched by half the room and stormed off in the direction of the vodka.

“I’ll have a vodka soda and more vodka than soda” he said to the woman behind the bar. He stood there with his heart up in his throat. He was anxious. He had been waiting a long time to have it out with Tom. He would run it over and over in his mind while trying to sleep. He pictured telling Tom off about all the ways he destroyed their future. He destroyed the band and the friendship in one swoop with no warning or explanation. The fantasy would usually end with Mark punching Tom straight in the balls. However he didn’t want to do this with audience. So this party wasn’t the greatest location to run in to that fucker.

Mark felt someone behind him and his heart dropped.Travis leaned next to Mark resting his back on the bar, watching over all the guest mingling at the party. “In this moment I want a drink more than anything” Travis said calmly. “What the fuck dude” Mark sighed wanting some clarity to how this could off happened. “Well I did send him a invite, but I always send him invites and he never comes. My assistant just has a list and they all go out I have stopped keeping track of who is on her magic list. He didn’t text me to let me know he was coming he just turned up.” Said Travis. Mark still not facing anyone but the bar looked into his empty glass. “I need another”. Travis continued “So when he got here I went up to him and he just made general small talk. Hows the kids, how the house looks, and all that crap. He didn’t mention the album, or Matt.” “Do you think that’s why he is here to celebrate our loss or to confront Matt?” Mark said finally looking at Travis. “Only time can tell...I am going to call Matt now” and with that Travis walked through the door towards his back yard where the party had spilled into. 

Mark turned around and started to follow Travis, he looked to see Tom talking to some woman and he met Toms eyes. The fact that they both caught each other stealing a glance of the other made Mark want to run out the door. He quickly focused on Travis and kept walking. The yard was full of people dancing and smoking so Travis made his way to the basketball court which was empty. Mark was so full of nervous energy, so he pulled his emergency cigarettes and lit one as he watched Travis on the phone on the over side of the court. 

Mark was happy he had found his hide-away. He could avoid everyone and have time to think about escaping the party. Mark started to look at the walls surrounding him thinking about how he could scale them when he heard foot steps behind him. “Hey is Matt still coming” he said expecting to see Travis behind him. “I sure hope so” a nasally voice replied. Fucking Tom had found him and he was alone with no one to buffer or witness the conversation. “I thought you quit” Tom said softly looking at the lit cigarette, “Hey same too you” Mark said referring to the way Tom bailed from the band. “Or did you, I never believe what I read on twitter” Tom was looking at the floor with a little smirk. The silence between felt so uncomfortable, they both had so much to say yet no one wanted to talk. “You’re still funny, that hasn’t changed” Tom said turning to stand side by side with Mark looking out to the party on the other side of the court. Mark had a drag on his cigarette, the less he spoke the better. “Congrats on the Grammy nomination" Tom said watching Travis in the distance still on the phone. Bored by the idle chit-chat Mark finally bit the bullet “Why are you here man, you couldn’t make it to one meeting or rehearsal or to even pick up the phone yet you come to this.” Mark said. Tom took at swig of his beer “To see my friends? To bring an olive branch”. Mark looked straight at Tom’s face. “Well you need a fucking olive tree” Mark spat as he started walking towards Travis.

“Come on asshole don’t be like that” Tom said starting to follow Mark. “Yeah fuck that Tom I don’t owe you anything, you have left me hanging for the better part of 20 years. So I don’t owe you shit”. Mark said turning round to face Tom. “Mark, we are grown fucking men, we have wives, and children, this codependency was cute in our 20′s but its time for us to grow up. You are always trying to relive the past, like California.” Mark saw red he knew Tom was going to act all high and mighty about the new album. “Here is the thing I don’t get Tom you want to have a negative opinion on the sound and band you created and won’t stop fucking reminding the world about? Those fucking passive aggressive Instagram post I’ve seen them all, pathetic. You want to own the band and kill it in the same breath”. Tom stepped closer to Mark “Shouldn’t I be credited a bit for the new sound....San Diego, Cynical, and basically all of +44, you’ve always been obsessed Mark, I am your fucking muse. I hope Skye doesn’t get jealous or do you tell her the love songs are about her” Mark looked around for Travis but he was ushering people in his house. He obviously didn’t want anyone to view this train wreck or even worse film it.


	2. The past is the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past is just the future with the lights on.

Mark felt trapped on the basket ball court. Everyone had moved inside leaving him with Tom. Maybe that was Travis’s way of being kind. Allowing them the space to breath, to talk without 200 sets of eyes watching. In reality he would give his left ball for Travis to be there to back him up. He was angry and had been for 10 years. That stupid shot Tom made about his lyrics being about Tom was uncalled for. Sure he had used his disappointment about Tom in the music but that’s because he wrote from his experiences. He didn’t write about sci-fi or space or fucking tunnels. He wanted to write about reality, stuff people could relate to. Like a friend stabbing you in the back.

Mark stood there for a second.“Why are you here” he said for the second time but this time he couldn’t hide the anger in his voice. “I’ve been avoiding you for years Mark” Tom said looking him dead in the eye. “But somehow you are always on my mind, like you have imprinted on me and I can’t shake it. Your in my dreams a lot lately. It’s like subconscious is telling me to resolve this.” Mark was rarely shocked by things Tom said anymore. He once spent 2 hours straight trying to justify big foot to Mark. “So me and Travis are invading your dreams”. Mark said rolling his eyes. “No, Mark you are on my mind if I like it or not.” Tom said suddenly gripping onto his wrist. “Its nothing supernatural, its just me. Something inside of me needs to see you, simple as that”. His voice had suddenly become soft like he was struggling to push the words out. Truth be told, Mark always was interested what his side of the story would be. “Tom lets find somewhere private and have this out”. Mark said wanting to remove himself from the chaos of the party and finally be done with Tom.

“Come to my house? Jen is out on a interior design job for the weekend and the kids are spending the night with her sister. I’ll put the address in your phone and you can meet me after you say your goodbyes?” Tom said grabbing Mark’s phone out of his hands eagerly. “Sure. I’ll see if Trav can come too” Mark said not sure what he agreed too. “See you soon” Tom said smiling and throwing Mark's phone back to him.

Mark stayed outside a bit longer just to gather himself. His heart was racing from the experience. Sometimes he see glimpses of the boy he once knew in Tom’s face. He paced as he lit another cigarette. Should he go? He really wanted to bail on Tom like he had multiple times to Mark. On the other hand, all his questions could be answered. Maybe Tom would apologies or even grovel. “What the fuccccccck” he heared bellowing out of Skiba as he walked down the lawn towards Mark. He stumbled down the lawn almost face planting.“Is it true? Was he here? Does he want you to go to the mother-ship with him?” Mark could tell by how he was yelling he was past drunk and close to blacking out.“Kind of, he wants to talk to me at his house, in like an hour” Mark said. Skiba laughed, “A second location, never go to the second location.Just stay and chill with me” Matt said as he took the cigarette out of his hand taking a drag. “It is fucking surreal this is this time he decided to re-enter society. You are at the top of your game and here he comes to drag you down” Matt said.

Tom had being an anchor dragging Mark down to the bottom the ocean. How could someone be responsible for your highest moments in your life be the same person to drag you down. When they were kids the conquered the world. Some of there happiest moments were when they just starting out and had nothing. The slept in the van together and lived off cups of noodles. If you could love someone living like that how could it go so wrong when money made life so much easier. Mark was very aware he loved Tom at that point of his life. At first he thought it was how you loved a friend. They spent day after day together and he was never irritated with him. Scott would always find something to whine about Tom; his voice, his jokes that weren’t funny, how he was a slob. But Mark somehow had his rose coloured glasses on when it came to him.

One night after a gig in Chicago when promoting Dude Ranch Mark went home with a girl he met doing press for the club. She was curvy, with long brown hair, and tall. She was funny, clever, and talked about star wars with him all night. She took him back to her apartment where they listened to Friday I’m in love and then had sex in her beautiful king size bed. She defiantly turned him on, he loved kissing up her thighs until he ate her out. She was asleep next to him and this was the first time Mark had been on a bed in two months but for some reason he couldn’t sleep. Instinctively he pulled on his pants and shirt and walked a hour back to the van and laid down next to Tom. Tom was asleep so he took this time to stare at his face. He caught himself in this moment and though this is not what friends do. They don’t walk away from a beautiful girl in a bed to lie in disgusting van with their friend. Mark always thought maybe he wasn’t 100 percent straight. He often caught himself watching guys a little longer than he should. He had jerked it to Han Solo but that was a one off. This moment here however confirmed to himself he was bi. He just knew and had know for a while that the emotions he was feeling for Tom weren’t purely friendship. It all gave him a rush; the comfort he got from sleeping next to Tom, spending everyday with Tom, the joy he got from making him laugh. In the morning he told the guys he had to sneak out of the girls apartment because her boyfriend came home. “Bad luck Marky” Tom said putting his hand on his back. “At least you have our little shit stained van to come back too”.

I need to tell him at some point Mark thought during the recording sessions of Enema of the State. He had taken two years from that night to figure things out. He was dating girls while taking home guys after the shows. He was pulling away from Tom because it was too hard to keep the crush and friendship separate. It was all getting too painful and messy.

So one night after a lot of vodka Tom cornered Mark and blurted out “Hey man, is there something I’ve done to you. I’ve just noticed you haven’t wanted to hang out and you’re not reply to my calls. I just need to know whats going on in that rabbit brain of yours”. Mark with all of the courage the vodka could provide mumbled “Well its because I’m bi” Mark thought their was no use telling his origin story for this because it involved a little too much about his friend. Tom turned around “Really? I never knew that.” they sat in the silence for a minute. “Well it’s taken me a while to figure it out myself” Mark said too embarrassed to make eye contact. “Well that...that doesn’t change anything man, I can help you scope out dudes. So start picking up my fucking calls” said Tom. Mark smiled, “Well I like girls and guys” “So really you’re taking advantage of the buffet of life” Tom said smiling “Marky you greedy little fucker”. 

So Mark ended up telling a few people. Tom, Travis, his sister, Pete, and Skye. He never wanted a press conference for it or a double spread in NME. He wanted to keep somethings private just for him not something to sell to the public. The part about Tom though he never told anyone. He felt it cheapened their years of friendship and what they accomplished. However it was hidden it still found its way to the surface in lyrics and dreams.

“Travis you bad motherfucker band fucking meeting” Matt yelled out loudly back in the present. Travis was already moving towards them. “I saw him leaving, what the fuck is going” Travis said. “He wants to talk, in a hour at his house” Mark said with a turning feeling in his stomach. “I can’t leave the party” Travis said. “The kids are upstairs playing x box.” “It’s cool I will reschedule” Mark said pulling out his phone to text Tom. There is no way he wanted to be left alone with Tom. Looking through the phone Mark could see Tom hadn’t left his number though just the address. “Um, he just left his address. He can’t do anything conventionally can he” Mark sighed.


	3. Roller coaster, favorite ride.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark decided it's time to face Tom.

“Well I guess I am going with you” Matt said and turned around to walk to the car park. Mark trailed behind him. “Look I don’t think that would be a great idea. For one thing, you’ve had a few drinks”. “I doubt this is the first-time Tom has encountered a drunk person, Mark. Stop being chicken shit and let me come” Matt said pulling the uber app up on his phone. “I need the address” “Well there is a lot that needs to be said and it will be easier to say in private.” Mark pleaded. “Oh did you two roll around downtown.” Matt said winking and pointing to his cock. “Nah man it’s not like that” Mark said looking at his shoes. “Well tell me what it is like? When I joined the band I thought you would eventually explain what happened to him and why I had to jump into his spot” Matt said. The drinks he had obviously helped him to feel comfortable enough to breach the subject no one ever mentions to Mark. “I am telling you man, one day he stop answering calls and turning up. Then I get an email from his manager saying he’s out.” Mark said. “So it had nothing to do with a certain sleeping arrangement?” Matt said coyly. “What the fuck are you talking about.” Mark said angrily. “Well rumor has it you would share a bed even if management organised individual rooms and someone’s wife wasn’t too keen on that arrangement” Matt said studying Marks face for his reaction. “Did Travis tell you that, he is a fucking liar.” Mark said however Travis wasn’t liar, just shit at keeping a secret.  
During TOYPJ era, Tom would notice Mark insomnia. Mark would be pacing all throw the hotel at all hours of the night. Mark told Tom that he couldn’t get rid of the energy he had from being on stage. At first Tom would just invite him into his room so they could have a few drinks to help him sleep. Eventually he would pass out in the bed with Tom. Until one night Tom concluded that Mark missed Skye and was more comfortable sleeping in the bed with someone. This arrangement went on for months until Jen decided to surprise Tom with a visit. She turned up to the hotel to find two grown men sleeping in the bed together. The next day she decided to have breakfast with Mark. “I get that being on tour is hard.” She said putting her hand on Mark’s “It’s just I catch you looking at him when you think no one’s looking. I’m not angry or upset I get it’s a harmless crush. He is obviously oblivious.” Mark was silent, he had been caught when he thought he had been so careful. “For me though Mark, could you stay in separate beds. It’s just we are married and I want to keep it that way” she smiled. Mark nodded petrified she would expose his secret and crash his little band and married life down in the ground. From that night on he stayed in his own bed and stopped the little flirty back and forth he would have with Tom for both of their sakes. Tom might of seen it as rejection, distances, or Mark being an asshole but Mark couldn’t risk his marriage or Tom’s.  
“Look man believe what you want. I am seeing Tom without you though” Mark said to Matt in the present. He took out his phone and booked the uber. “Fine man live your life of secrets but the truth comes out eventually. Even if you don’t” Matt said turning around and walked towards the party.  
Mark got in the uber that pulled up. A green Corolla that was defiantly built in the 90′s. Mark got in and said hi to the young girl driving. She must have been early 20′s into the club scene her hair was blue and she was blaring Frank Ocean remix. Mark took a swig out of the bottle of vodka he snuck out from the party. He wanted some liquid courage.  
He got out of the car. The drive was long that he was past tipsy when he stumbled out of the car. Thanks for lift he said. He walked up to the house and knocked on the door. He could hear a dog at the door. “Luna, settle down” he heard Tom’s voice from the other side of the door. Mark took one deep breath to get rid of the lump sitting in his throat. The door opened and Tom was standing there in yellow shirt and black skinny jeans. He didn’t know if it was intentional but something about Tom wearing bright colours reminded him of their youth. 

“You’re here” said Tom said slightly shocked. “I just thought you weren’t going to come”. “It was 50/50 for a while but you didn’t leave your number” Mark said. “Yeah somethings just need to happen face to face” Tom said. “Could we move it to another day? Travis can’t leave the party; the kids were upstairs” Mark said lingering in the door way for easy escape. “Yeah definitely, we all need to have a conversation” he said, “You’ve come all this way now, come and have a drink with me” Tom said walking into the kitchen. “Well I really was here to re-schedule.” “Come on Mark one drink won’t kill you, do you still like cider?” “I guess” said Mark. "but hanging out with you might" Mark said. “They sat down at the kitchen table with their drinks. “So?” Mark said. “Well I guess I’ve got a lot of explaining to do” said Tom.

“Yes” Mark said “Nervously tearing at the label on his bottle of cider. “Well the dreams are you and I and were sitting in the van, the van we used to have, do you remember? It was a yellow colour and one night Megan vomited in it? Well, anyway I keep dreaming we’re back in that van, sleeping but we are this age not young like we were”.Tom said speaking so fast all his sentences were becoming one. “What do you think it means?” Mark said with a bored tone in his voice. He is using these dreams to avoid the real conversation Mark thought. “Maybe you and I need to start talking again?” Tom said. “Or maybe you should buy a van?” Mark said skirting around the issue he was trying to push. “Come on Mark, I am trying here” Tom said obviously getting frustrated with Mark’s resistance. “Wow congratulations Tom this is the first time you have tried in 10 years, I am not ready to just fall at your feet” Mark said sarcastically. “It’s not so easy being around you, you know Mark. You’re not always sunshine. Some days you’d be so cold, it felt like you wanted to leave the band but you didn’t have the balls to do it” Tom said. “When we wrote, and recorded Untitled you wouldn’t be alone with me. You made Travis stay in the studio the whole time even though he didn’t need to be there just so you could talk to him and not me. Then you were shocked that I needed space, I needed a break from being ignored and isolated. I was consistently trying to connect with you and you wouldn’t have it. After everything we’d been through, our friendship, our band, and you would avoid me like I was scum. So going on hiatus was putting us both out of our misery” said Tom. Mark was shocked he was so honest, he was ready to hear bullshit excuses. “So, I am sick of this poor me act Mark, like I abandoned you and you had nothing to do with it.” Tom said staring at Mark. “I was protecting you from me” Mark said. “What do you mean, are you secretly a murder” Tom laughed. “No, I was secretly…In love with you. It was going to end up as a disaster. I need to keep space so I didn’t ruin all those things” Mark said ashamed of the words leaving his mouth. “Oh…well maybe my signals weren’t clear enough” Tom laughed. Why the fuck was he laughing thought Mark I had just put myself out there. “I was always into you, I was encouraging you to sleep in my bed with me at one point” Tom smiled. “But you never said anything” Mark said. “Neither did you asshole, when you told me you were bi I was expect you to add that you wanted to make a move on me. But you never did. You were fucking guys left right and centre yet never brought it up with me. I thought that was a clear sign, he’s not into you. Also I couldn’t do it too the band” Tom said. Mark stood up to lean again the kitchen counter "well the bands not your issue any more" Mark muttered under his breath. “Mark turned around and stood to face him “The band will always be my concern, and so are you. Tom put his hands behind Mark on the counter almost pinning him down and kissed him. Mark looked back his eyes wide almost in shock. Mark said “So we are doing this?” “Defiantly “said Tom placing his hand on Marks waist


	4. Where do we go from here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where do I go from here? What happens after Mark fucks Tom? Does he get the answers he wants?

Mark turned his face away he was still unsure about doing all this, was it another sick game Tom got to play with his life. Tom started to kiss slowly up and down his neck, Mark was getting goosebumps. “Well ... I’m just not sure.. what about our wives” Mark stuttered trying to make a clear point but it was not just coming out. Tom got close to Marks ear and whispered “If you want me to stop just say so Marky” and he slide his hand on Marks jeans right on his cock. Tom knew calling him Marky was his soft spot “Our friendships and working relationship have gone to shit anyway its not like we can ruin it” Tom said rubbing his hand up and down the crotch of his jeans. “You make a compelling point, but still our wives?” Mark said eyes closed enjoying the fact that his once friend and Nemesis was trying so hard to make him hard. "What they don't know won't hurt them" Tom said. "I will take this too my grave" Mark said knowing this would drive everyone in his life away. Skye would pack up and leave if he did this. Travis would probably try and have him institutionalized. 

Tom pushed Mark to sit on the kitchen counter and started kissing Mark. Not soft I love you baby, you’re my soul mate kisses that Skye would give him but rough, passionate, I’ve got something to prove. Tom was biting his lip between pushing him down and physically dominating him. Tom pulled Mark closes so he was practically grinding on Tom’s body the grip Tom had on his shirt was so tight. It was so fucking hot how rough he was being. Tom started to try too take Mark’s shirt off but It got tangled round his neck and shoulders so Mark helped pull it off and threw it on the floor. Tom couldn’t help but notice that Mark was in good shape, he had been working out for the tour. It had always turned Tom on that Mark was in many ways he equal. Like two sides of a coin. Tom ran his hands over Mark's chest. “Mark can I say you look good, just like when you were that 20 year old shit head I use to jerk it too” Tom said with a smile on his face. Mark started pulling off Tom’s shirt. Tom had a shit eating grin on his face, “You haven't changed either” Mark said watching Tom kicking off his shoes “Their is just more of you too love” Mark said as Tom threw a shoe at his head. “I can’t believe we are doing this” Mark said staring down at a shirtless Tom. Tom pulled Mark down and pushed him onto the couch and pinned his wrist down. “Believe it” Tom said grabbing his cap from the table next too him and putting it on Mark. "No fucking hats" Mark said flipping it off his head. The couch looked out to some glass doors which over looked the beach. "Aren't you worried someone can see us from the beach" Mark whispered "Makes it more fun" Tom said as he was kissing down Mark's torso. Tom and Mark spent the night fucking and looking out to the ocean.

Tom had fallen asleep and Mark was laying next too him. Mark woke up with Tom's Ford hat on his head. He must of put it on him when he was sleeping. Where do we go from here? He thought. Do we become booty calls? Ignore it every happened? Does he rejoin the band? All the thoughts in his head became overwhelming. Couldn’t his anxiety let him enjoy the moment he had been fantasizing about for years. He started to get up and plan his escape from this confusing experience. Everything he thought he knew and wanted had suddenly been changed.  
Just as his feet hit the floor Tom’s groggy voice mumbled “Don’t leave, not yet. I know this couch is too small come to the bedroom”.“Nah, I need time to think" Mark said turning to the door. "Please, man just a few more hours" said Tom grabbing onto his wrist. "I need to leave early though, before anyone realizes I am still here and not at home with Skye” Mark said trying to figure out how to rejoin his life. Tom took him up stairs but didn't turn on the lights, Mark needed to follow him quite close to navigate through the darkness. “We can go into the spare room. I’d feel better if pictures of Jen and the kids weren’t surrounding us.” “Oh fuck, I forgot about that part of our lives” Mark whispered. Tom gave Mark a gentle kiss on the stair way. “This is like another reality, if we made one different choice in our lives this could of been it.” Tom said leading him up the stairs holding his hand sweetly as they navigated Tom's house at night. “We probably wouldn’t be this successful, we probably still be living in the shit stained van” Mark said. “I wouldn’t care, we would still have fun” Tom laughed. They entered the spare room and laid down on the king sized bed. Tom moved right next to Mark but didn’t touch him. They were both staring at the ceiling “at the end of the day this isn’t reality, this is us playing a game for one night” Mark sighed. “Fun game though” Tom said turning on his side to watch Mark.

"What do you want Tom, what have you ever wanted" Mark asked looking at the ceiling feeling Tom’s eyes on his face studying his reactions. The feeling of abandonment had never really left Mark even after fucking each-other. "Honestly, I don’t know, to be happy. Is that so crazy? The band wasn’t making me happy anymore and everyone knew it.” Mark put his hands over his face in frustration. “I wanted to be your friend and maybe more but that choice was taken away from me too. What was the point of me sticking around and being miserable" Tom said putting his hand on Mark’s. "So how about now, what about this" Mark said still trying to absorb everything. "Well I like this choice, the choice to have you lying next to me after giving me an orgasm is a good one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to break my writers block!


End file.
